What is Sexual Harassment?
Sexual harassment is any unwelcome advance or behavior—verbal, non-verbal, or physical—that violates a person’s comfort, decency, or sense of safety. The key word is “unwelcome”. Even if the intent behind the action isn’t harmful, if it crosses someone’s boundaries and makes them uncomfortable, it can be harassment.
Simple Rule: If it is not clearly welcomed or makes someone uncomfortable, it can be harassment.
Why Is It Important to Address?
- Physical and emotional safety
- Mental trauma and distress
- Lasting impact on personal and professional life
Ignoring or normalizing such behavior can perpetuate harm and create unsafe environments for everyone.
Root cause of complications related to sexual harassment
Often, it’s a result of erring in a tension between two human needs:
- The need to build connection (which may involve slowly testing social or emotional boundaries; evolving and individually and culturally subjective nature of good/harmful, right/wrong, that’s how we have discovered more ways of intimacy that are joyful and cause no harm vs societies that have limited out of fear), and
- The need for group harmony & acceptance (where it’s not just one who needs to like you, but that person needs their group to like/accept you; and hence certain behaviors may make others uncomfortable, violate group norms, or be seen as inappropriate).
Healthy approach to relationship boundaries
As an initiator
Understanding this tension can help us develop empathy—for ourselves and others—and guide our behavior in complex social settings.
- Conduct with nurturing, respectful actions and communication
- Recognize that building any relationship and testing boundaries is slow, intentional, and mutual process
- Do things that create space for conversation, knowing each other
- Don’t copy what media (like Bollywood) portrays—e.g., persistent pursuit, staring, or loitering near someone’s home is not romantic. It’s invasive.
- Patience and genuine care are the key – and they are truly appreciated, responded well to
- Understand and respect the core idea of ‘consent’ and ‘unwelcome advances’
but a way of interacting that honors the other person’s boundaries and comfort, moment by moment. Make a good judgement on what can be comfortable and what cannot – learn from experiences. Stop when the other person doesn’t welcome something.
How to know what is ‘unwelcome’
- Use judgement – think what feels right
- Erring on conservative side, asking – If your thought is Yes or No, go with No.. think back or seek help until you are sure
- Relying on and trusting in Communication – if there is at all a mistake, talk it out and move on
- Respecting other’s emotion/decision – even if it feels difficult for us
- Know that Consent is moment by moment
- Intent vs. Impact – a kind action may still cause discomfort
- Let go gracefully when interest is not mutual.
Trying to “convince” someone who’s not interested is not okay. - Learn the difference between ‘uncomfortable’ and ‘harmful’.
Even well-intended actions can make someone feel unsafe—intent does not cancel impact.
As a receiver
- Be respectful but clear and firm – Your decency and safety is your right, don’t be guilty or fearful
- Name the discomfort (even if it feels small)
- Seek help – identify your safe person to share and gain support
- Find closure and move on